I & Dirty Water – How to control Mood Swings

Posted on

….

mood swing:

(noun)  an abrupt and unaccountable change of mood.

 

It was always my friends talking about my mood swings but I never consciously caught my mood swinging. I, for the first time, realized it after my break-up.

Bad relationship it was. I was into depression. Few days later, I found my ex with some other guy. My depression turned into jealousy. I messaged her. She saw my message but didn’t reply. My jealousy turned into anger. Next day, she blocked me. My anger turned into sadness.

Like a Chameleon changing its colors, my moods were changing from one color to other.

It was a monsoon evening. I sat by my bedroom’s window looking at the gloomy climate. A little far from our stay is a slum colony. They live by the footpath. A boy of six or seven walked out from one of those slum huts, with a bucket and mug.

He went to a mud puddle that’s just dirty water accumulated by rain. He was trying to collect water from it. He was creaming it, trying to filter, but nothing was working. The water is blended with dirt.

For more than twenty minutes, he tried. And then, he gave up. He left.

I felt sad for that little boy who was seeking for some fresh water. He gave his best, but of no use.

Sun went down in a couple of hours.

The boy came back with the same bucket and mug. He crouched near the puddle and collected water. Surprisingly, the water had no dirt in it. I might have learned this as a science experiment, but the little boy learned it from his necessity.

He gave up, only to come back later. Because he understood, that the muddy water doesn’t need any efforts, but just time. Give a little time—the clean will come up, and the dirt will settle down.

I was doing the same mistake which the boy did. My mood swings weren’t settling for the same fact—I’m NOT giving it time.

 

 What are mood swings?

 




Mood swings are fluctuations of different emotions in a short span. The word ‘mood swings’ has something to do with time. We call it a swing because it is an abrupt shift from one emotion to other. So, the solution is also in parameters of time.

Our minds are like mud puddles. Like that little boy, we try to filter it. But the more we try, the dirtier we are making it. The thing we don’t understand is that we need to give time for our mood swings. Only then, they will settle and you’ll attain peace of mind. 

 

The Best thing you’ve to do when you are having a mood swing is: Do Nothing.

 

I see many people searching for: How to control mood swings? How to cope up with mood swings?

The answer is, do nothing at all. Step out of all action, all conversations, all things that might trigger an emotion. Rest for a while, play a game, go on a ride, eat something, whatever. But do nothing about that emotion.

If you are sad, don’t think of ways to get out of sadness. Let it be, and give up. Within a few minutes, you find your sadness settled at the bottom. This is extremely important to understand.

 




We have a bad habit of trying to solve things. But that will only mess you up in this case. Because emotions cannot be solved. In the first case, understand that emotions are not problems. They are just dirt particles. They settle on their own if you stop stirring.

Mood swings are normal. But, its reflections are the real problem. Being sad is okay. But what you do in that sadness is the problem. If you are angry at someone, it’s okay. But then, you immediately text them, or call them, or stalk at their profile. And any of these might trigger another reason for your anger.

 

Situation is the mother of emotion.

We know that situations aren’t permanent, so are emotions. But your actions are permanent. I see people taking hard decisions in life, just because of a tiny situation. Remember, someday, situations and emotions pass. But the things you messed up because of them will remain.

 

You want a divorce from your wife because you didn’t like the sandwich she made for breakfast. She can make a better sandwich tomorrow, or the day after. Even if she fails, you can buy a sandwich. But divorce will permanently separate her from your life.

This is a ridiculous example, you may say. But look back at your life. How many times did you take Big decisions in your mood swings? Aren’t they ridiculous?

Once my friend was having a fight with his girlfriend, on phone. Call dropped. Thinking that she switched off the phone in between, he slit his wrist. He was angry, furious, out of control. Five minutes later he got a callback, she said, ‘Sorry, no charging. I just plugged in.’

Now, that scar on his wrist will stay forever. Isn’t this ridiculous? I think, my sandwich example was better.

 

Look at yourself. Your mood swings. Don’t try to solve them. Don’t consider them as problems in the first case. If there’s something you really want to do—Do NOT make decisions during a mood swing. Give time for your dirt to settle.

 

10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…

Give up! Give time. Let the water settle.

….

Think about it.

Share it with those whom you think should take care of their mood swings. Help your self. Help others. 

….

I & Sandwich – The Secret to Failure

Posted on

….

The easiest way to success is to know the secret to failure.

As a kid, I read Edison’s story where he was trying to figure out what works as a filament. He tried with every damn thing, but it didn’t work out. When someone asked about his failures, he said, “I discovered a thousand ways that don’t work.”

When you know what it takes to fail, you’ll know the other side of the coin too. That’s the easiest approach.

I discovered the secret to failure when I was in high school. There’s this master-chef competition where we have to experiment our recipes on teachers. It’s kind of a revenge game.

Well, nobody likes to be bad. We were trying our best at cooking.

Let me be frank: I wasn’t prepared. But to me, the easiest of all is a sandwich. Maybe that’s a misconception, but my perception of a sandwich, at that point of life is stuff between two bread loaves. That stuff can be anything leftover in the refrigerator.

My friends were trying North Indian, Mexican, Italian recipes. It’s de-motivating. But then I found someone who was trying a sandwich too. But he took all measures so that I don’t steal his recipe.

I was worried. Inferior. I was loitering in the school balconies.




As I was walking through a staff room, I heard the judges. They were three of them. One of them said, “I’m really looking out for lots of mayonnaise.” The other said, “I’m waiting for chocolate recipes. Nothing beats sweetness.” And the third one said, “Nah. Fast food is my favorite. I somehow like that flavor of soy sauce.”

That was a hint to me. More than a hint. I got a peek into their tastes, so I felt my job is almost done.

The time limit was for one hour and I chopped stuff—tomatoes, cucumber, lettuce. I was staring at my friends sandwich which looked pathetic. There isn’t much stuff. He was just grilling bread loaves with butter.

The competition is done. And you know, none of them could actually complete their cooking. It was just three and I’m one of it. The other sandwich guy is done too. And noodles were another option. It looked over-cooked, anyway.

I was super confident until the judges took a bite. To my surprise, their faces showed different colors as they chewed. “What did you put in it?” all three asked with one voice.

I explained that I added stuff with mayonnaise, Hershey’s choco spread and soy sauce.

“It tastes disgusting,” they said without any hesitation.

I wished I could jump off a cliff, that minute.

“But why?” I asked.

“Why did you add soy sauce and chocolate?”

“I thought you’d like it,” I said.

“But, No. You don’t do that with a sandwich,” they left with a sympathetic glance.

I failed. Just like they can’t digest my sandwich, I couldn’t digest my defeat. Unexpectedly, my friend’s sandwich was applauded. He’s on the winners list.

I walked to him and asked innocently, “What did you put in it?”




“Just stuff with some cheese. And I grilled it.”

“Mayonnaise, chocolate and soy sauce?”

“Dude, but why? I just added what a sandwich needs.

He’s right. He didn’t satisfy the judges’ personal favorites. He just did what has to be done.

I realized that the secret to my failure was that I was trying to please all the judges. I was trying to make something they love and it was a disaster. I never thought how the sandwich would taste or what actually does a sandwich need. It was all simple. But I messed up.

I’m not sure what it takes to succeed, but that day I realized what it takes to fail. It’s easy to learn failure.

Whatever you are doing, do it in a way it has to be done. I’m sure we cannot please everyone. Because everyone has their own taste and if we try to add all their favorites, you’ll end up making a disgusting sandwich, just like I did.

There are always people whom you cannot satisfy. It’s a simple fact that people’s tastes are different. Some like soy sauce. Some like chocolate. How can you satisfy both of them simultaneously? It’s impossible.

Whatever you do, you face comments. But that’s just one side of the coin.

The other side is, whatever you do, someone will love it.

If what you doing don’t satisfy someone, it means you are exhibiting to the wrong audience. There’s a place for every one of us. The world is bigger than we think.

Understanding failure is simple—stop pleasing everyone. Once you get that, you’re already halfway to success.

Everything in life has a recipe. Just do it the way it has to be done. Not more. Not less. That’s all you need to know. For god’s sake, next time when you make a sandwich, don’t add mayonnaise, soy, and chocolate.

….